Dear Diary

When I came round there was a worried, naked, Omar, standing over me. He explained I fainted. Gosh, even with all these thoughts on my mind, I'm still lusting after this guy!


Diary of a desperate housewife was written for radio in 1997 but never progressed any further. All similarities to persons living or dead are purely coincidental and are not based on anyone known, living or dead. Amy wrote the script based on her memoirs and has sold all rights to African Observer. No part can be copied or published without the prior consent of the Editors or Publishers.

Editor in Chief.



Dear Diary.

So I’m on the plane about to land but I can’t help feeling (feeling, that’s a cliché if I ever heard one. For the one thing I didn’t do was feel anything!) I could have quelled the situation with Omar. Was it my fault? Have I been leading him on all these days? Okay,  so sometimes I held his arm for more the 3 Mississippi’s but that’s not really flirting, is it Diary?. Ok, lets assume it was, I didn’t ask him to kiss me. Or did I? I’m so confused and now Andrew and his mum are in hospital. Let me tell you  all about that.

Omar was kissing my boobs and taking to seventh heaven. Oh diary, I felt like a schoolgirl. he was so mastered and the way he used his hands to caress and stimulate my clitoris, Andrew had never done that. It was as if he was trying to arouse me but not really working at it. His lips, oh his lips, they were like soft jello. I really wanted him. He also had the biggest dick I’d seen, in real life that is but he didn’t seem to think it was big. Anyway, there he was rubbing his massive dick against my inner thigh, me, me I was screaming the house down and  as he was just about to thrust into me, my phone rings. I really was going to switch it off but I forgot. My mind kept saying let it ring as I felt the top of Omar’s very hardness, trying to push itself into my very wet self. Oh damn these mobile phones. What do I do? Answer the phone or finish the task? I couldn’t. it was one of the twins ringtones. So like Andrew did I, I left Omar in a state of total confusion and dissatisfaction.  I just couldn’t ignore it.  So as I got up very reluctantly to answer my phone, it  stopped. I was just about to go back to Omar’s great body when a text came in. Twin 1 sent a text that there had been a Road Traffic Accident and Andrew and his mum were in hospital. I fainted.

Here I was enjoying a night of unsolicited passion with a very fit younger man and my husband has had an accident. When I came round there was a worried, naked, Omar, standing over me. He explained I fainted. Gosh, even with all these thoughts on my mind, I’m still lusting after this guy!

Anyway, I managed to compose myself and called the twins. Andrew had gone to his mothers house and was on his way back home with her when an animal of some sort had jumped into the road. Andrew had swerved to avoid it and collided with an oncoming vehicle. Fortunately, they both had minimal injuries and were only being kept in for observation.  Due to her age, his mum was in ICU and said to be up and talking.

I still couldn’t comprehend. Was it I being punished by God for attempting to sleep with Omar. Oh yes, it was attempting. Amidst all the smooching and whatever, we never got to finish the deed.

On getting to the hospital, Andrew was up and on his way across the corridor to check on his mum. It wasn’t good news.


Dear Diary

Its been a week since Andrews mum died. We cant get our heads around it. She had been up in bed, spoke to the twins and Andrew and I were about to take her home. She just stopped breathing! Just like that, she was gone. Andrew is beside himself. He keeps saying he should have stayed the night at hers. Guilt. Its the wost emotion ever. I should know. I’m struck down with it. If only I had been at home? If only I hadn’t…? No. there is nothing like guilt. For Andrews sake, Omar must never happen again. I have the kids that love me and a man that, in his own way, adores me so no more Omar. Got to go Diary, Andrew needs me.


Dear Diary

Ok so we have ordered the plot for mums final resting. Its actually quite quaint. Its a private family plot, so eventually we may all end up there. The flowers have been arranged, cars, chapel service and pamphlets ordered. Andrew sorted out mums favourite hymns and despite our love hate relationship, I offered to say a few words. I can’t write much as people are in and out offering condolences and I have to be the perfect host.

Catch up later


Oh diary, it was a lovely funeral. Mama A would have loved it. There were lovely flowers and all the children were there, most of the church and her friends from everywhere. Yes it has been a trying two weeks but its over now and I have to face my demons. Yes Im going back to work and my first meeting on Monday is none but Omar!

That’s gonna  be fun.

Good night Diary.

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